Ashksymphony

उसने लिखना छोड़ दिया  मैंने पुछा क्या हुआ  तो वो थोड़ी देर तक ठहरा  फिर जैसे कुछ गेहन सा सोच के बोला  अब शब्द नहीं मिलते  मै भी आज चर्चा के मूड में था  तो मैंने भी कह दिआ  शायद ये अच्छा ही है  हो सकता है तेरा दर्द जो तू इतने दिनों से  रह रह कर इन कहानियों में बहा रहा था  अब खर्च हो चला हो  शायद ये एक ख़ुशी का मौका हो  एक नयी शुरुआत हो  कुछ खुशनुमा लिखने की कोशिश कर  उसके चेहरे पे एक अजीब सी कसक थी  जैसे वो था यहाँ  पर असल में कही और बैठा था  किसी याद के आंगन में बतियाते हुए  और मेरी बात सुनकर जैसे भागता हुआ आया हो उस गली से  वो जब दौड़ने के बाद हाँफते हुए  जो थकान चेहरे पे आती है  उसी चेहरे के जैसे देख रहा था मुझे  मैं जानता उसे कई सालों से हु अब  तो मुझे लगा शायद मैंने कुछ ज्यादा ही कह दिआ  थोड़ा भावुक सा तो है वो  कहीं मैंने कोई दुखती सी नब्ज़ तो नहीं पकड़ ली उसकी  वैसे काफी बेहूदा सा खौफ है ये मेरा , मैं सोचूं तो  अब दोस्त होना भी क्या एक इम्तेहान बना लूँ  कब क्या कहूं, कब चुप रहूं  कब बस सुन लूँ, तो कब ये न कहूं  इतने चेहरे तो एक दोस्ती में होते नहीं  ये डर है मेरा, वो बोला  जिसके चलते अब

  29 th May 1954 Cat Stevens couldn’t have captured the emotions I feel right now better than how he did in the song “Father and Son” Now this song has been and I am sure will be one that would be close to my heart all my life and for multiple reasons As I write this today though, I feel pulled the anger and frustration of the high-pitched voice of the son in the song and ‘I know I have to go away’ To be frank I should not have much to complaint about if I look at it from the idealistic way I have a room to myself at my parent’s house my privacy doesn’t get overly infringed and I can practically do what I wish to as long as it is in my own quarters and does not draw enough attention I get good food and don’t have to worry about cooking it I can get and borrow all the books I need from the local library and devour them in my room in my solitude while I also write down all my pent up thoughts in my multiple diaries and most importantly I don’t have to see or hear domestic quarrels or

  08 th  July 1999 I have been told I suffer from an elevated sense of  narcissism and I don’t think I can deny the allegations you decide to agree and accept things when they are repeated from multiple loved ones and time over time I think I even get a sense of pride in the title, if it can be called so it goes with being a narcissist I am told – a circular cycle I have also tried to dig deeper into the reason of why it should be so I am otherwise quite a humble character if I were a part of a movie or a character in a book I would be one of those on the edge characters those whom you don’t etch themselves in your mind when you finish the book but who linger on the periphery, with a few moments clearly remembered But I digress from the point and linger on my own narcissism, again No surprises.. what I want to write about is an introspection which you would have guessed by now is on my narcissism Yesterday I was speaking to Atul and in the backdrop of the fact that the world is going t