Ashksymphony

06 January 1998 I was almost enticed to skip my daily ritual, My bath with cold water at 5 in the morning I haven't failed for the last 63 years,but once... Though i must accept, there were a few close calls, once when Anne added ice cubes into the bucket.. What laugh she had at the site of my horrid face, dripping with water,shivering, I had rushed out of the bath to have my revenge... 12  January  1956 - If you wish to humour yourself with the details... Now that I mention the singular ocassion when I did skip the routine,I must elaborate.. I doubt I had time for a diary entry that day!! I'm sure had I even tried it,Kashish would have killed me, She was already furious over my morning act of stupidity... When she had been angry on me for the first time, she had innocently added salt into my tea,for sugar.. And had stood by,watching me spue,stone faced, but I had the best chocolate cake that afternoon... The next time I rac

1.  I saw him sitting there, he had that awe in his eyes, it was nascent... A bud ready to open, bubbling with inherent inquisitiveness, to ask,to conquer, to learn... A kindergarten kid, in the kindergarten swing, I saw him, the origin of curiosity.... 2. As he peeked beyond the curtain, into the silhouette of her shadow.. To catch just a glimmer of her face, he was already under the spell, the cupid never saw his full face, only an instant's meeting of eyes was all that was needed... The fair in some urban land,saw that day, the origin of Love.... 3. The limousine rolled onto the red carpet, with glamour and paparazzi  all around, This seemed like a childhood dream come true, he was still not sombre from the night's champagne, he never could handle drinks,however light, she had always told him... But today was the day of celebrations, an academy award demanded confetti.... The world saw that day, the origin of Success... 4. She sat there,  silently weeping in the cocoon o

The untamed rawness of the youth with its fervor of hot blood rushed through his head,at those words... I can not allow the timid feelings of love to tether me from appealing to my dreams.. It would just be fretful care, of the native beauty that has seen and felt the pain of fellow maidens  as they cried in the courtyard, for men they loved who died in the battlefield.... Its a decision she said,you make its you as my lover, or you as a soldier... now or never.... 3 months since then, He stood facing the 13th battalion... His mate ventured too far, now stranded alone,around enemy fire, should he risk his self, or should he stay behind the barracks... The choice, he realised he had made that fateful day  in the farms of Punjab, when she had cried... the choices were always the same... now or never... -Ashk

21 December 1997 This is just a veritable diary entry of an old man, so if you are sneaking through in anticipation of some covert tell tale, I suggest you turn to the diary entry on 16 August 1953 All that you'll get here is Cognitive Content.... Its already quarter past 6 in the morning, and in anticipation of the newspaper I follow my regular treading on the veranda... "Kamal !! Babuji is again outside,this early, Make him come in, you know how susceptible he is to the cold" I can hear bahu in her cajolery tongue, trying to wake Kamal from his morning slumber... When I was his age,I used to be up and running like a steaming engine by this time. I was in Bangalore then, at the center of a mushrooming entrepreneurial hub.. My mornings were mainly consumed in charting out the days work And by 7 I used to be onto the streets, riding on dreams, enterprisingly spirited.... "Dadaji,its cold outside,come in, I'll get you the paper when i

It was a blessed chance I stumbled upon the negative, for years was it buried in the diary.. I had little remembrance of the puerile verses I had written in it, The only memories still intact were the nights the soliloquy were pend... Someone told me the law of attraction, 'The Secret' was it where I read it? Damn!I should have believed, A die hard rationalist I dun believe till I endure.. 2 weeks, 2 Kodachrome, Is it any sign?? Was it years back or just days, seems like a distant motion picture running in the backdrop... But I must come back to where I began, the negative... My dream.... Often i dream of a face that smiles, shaking me violently of my slumber, ever so subtly does the ambiance pass through my senses, spreading such tranquil, I dream again.... Good Morning.... As she ebbed closer, whispering mischievously in my ears... Before the first rays  of the morning sunlight, could dilate the pupils of my eye, her magnetic,intoxicating scent fills my senses, '

जब रूह को तोड़ के मेरी टुकरे यूँ हज़ार ले जाते हो, ऐ जालिम इन शब्दों को क्यों छोड़ जाते हो?? इन्हें भी जला दिया करो मेरी सांसो के साथ, कमसे कम तेरी याद को बयां करने का कोई जरिया तो न बचे.... तो फिर मैं शायद तेरी परछाई को किसी कोने में दिल के दफना सकूँ, इस नियत से नहीं की तुझे भुलाना है मुझे, बल्कि इस फितरत से की तुझे खुद का एक हिस्सा बनाना है तुझे.... तू तो मेरे शब्द मेरे होंठों में छोड़ जाती है, ये कह के ये मेरी निशानी हैं,इसे संझोते रहो, क्या बीतती है इस ASHK पे सोचा है? ये श्याही बनके तेरे नगमे ज़माने को सुनाता रहता है,आशिक की तरह.. डर डर के बहाता है ये वो बीते पलों की प्रवाह, कहीं कोई लहर इतनी न गहरी हो जाए, की तेरी कोई याद,तेरी शक्शियत की कोई परछाई, मुझसे पल भर को ही सही, पर जुदा न हो जाए.... तू जाती है तो मेरे शब्द क्यों नहीं ले जाती?? थक न जाये ये ASHK बहते बहते, तू इसे हमेशा के लिए क्यों नहीं सुला जाती... -Ashk

Sixteen times had I made the attempt, I exactly counted them, each one of them... Not once though could i muster so much courage, As to walk to the open drawer standing beyond where I lay, The light had been dimmed and brought back to life, the same number of times The moth that had been sitting peacefully at the helm of the silent gramophone grew restless... The disquiet,so palpable in the turbulent air stream of the room was a discernible warning for the peace loving creature... As the waves of quiescence settled into uniform pattern of jitters in my mind, They brought along,vivid scenes of some distant block of memory in me.. Each such feeling so strong,it swept delicately fragrant rhythms of soulful vision;  A vision, that was a time which was the present;some time in my past... And such was the charm of the music,no symphony could have ever created Peace as sublime as a mortal can feel punctured the jitters as ruptured bubbles.. That tranquil smile spreading on my face,  br

I should be a Poet, I had thought that day... What beautiful verse had I read, I cannot remember... Must have been William Wordsworth, or was it Frost... On a second thought I imagine, It was She.... Blissful Night or some other tag, I don't really recollect the phrases... I only remember the rhythm, music for the first time I read that day... The cupids arrow had struck Gold, Love at first sight.... "Words" I was enthralled... I had never experienced more pleasure, in the plunge... The ocean of words, like a shimmering tiara, in the afterglow of my newly found love... Even the detestable cult of flattery, finding innumerable synonyms in my dictionary... Reflections in my memory suggest, i wanted to describe my inspirer, in the nascent verses of mine... Am i trying to describe, the birth of the poet in me... or am I trying to hide, the identity of she, imprisoned in me.... I suddenly shudder.... These questions,  that become my boundaries, imaginations curbed, Its on

I would rather ask, than judge or shall i pray, not say my options confused, my thoughts consumed Wish I could look into your eyes for answers, I can't find, for no reason, Just for smiles... Standing face to face, I'm transparent, not opaque you look through me, like a thin film of  non-existent air, at times... Another time in the sand-watch; You are my guiding light my destined path, The voice that echoes the hand, that holds on my dreams, my life... Wish i could express  without saying, looking into your eyes; Wish you could hold me through my fears tonight... Whisper in my ears  those magical words I care,I love we'll stay this way... Hold my hand, need no promises be made A silent vow, That you'll kiss my heart my soul will live in you forever, till eternity... -Ashk

एक गुलाब को अपने होंठो की नमी पे सम्हालो, पलकों को एक दूजे से मिला दो,  सांसों को उसके खयालो में समां जाने दो... अब उस पंखुड़ी को अपने से दूर करने की कोशिश करो, पर आंख न खोलना, होंठों लो एक दूजे से जुदा न करना, सांसो की लए न बढ़ाना, "वो लम्हा इन्तहा की हद है" समंदर के किनारे बैठ के, लहरों को पत्थर से टकराके भी गाते सुनो, उस एक पल के लिए उसकी यादों को दूर जाने दो, फिर जब वो लहर समंदर में कही खोने वाली हो, उस लम्हा, उसका चेहरा आँखों में उतारो, "वो पल इन्तहा की हद है" एक शायर की शायरी पढो, और फिर उसके शब्दों की गहराई उसी की जुबानी सुनो, जिन शब्दों में उसकी रुदाली  उसकी आँखों में झलक आये, उन शब्दों में अपनी ज़िन्दगी के किसी पल को रख दो  फिर उस पल की बेचैनी को जियो, "ये इन्तहा की हद है" किसी गवैये को वो गीत गाने को कहो, जिससे वो अपने रूठे महबूब को मनाता हो, फिर उस गीत में उन पंक्तियों में  जहाँ उसने तारीफ की हो उनकी अदा की, उस लम्हे में उनकी अदा को यद् करो, "वो लम्हा इन्तहा की हद है" एक सुबह सूरज के साथ उठो, ठंडी हवा को सीने से लगाओ खूब हसो, खूब

He came home, 8 in the evening... played basketball,  shortest of the lot.. It was the same scene, so obscene, it had lately become a routine... God give him strength, before evil breaks into his head... The man had a fluffy body,fat face must have drunk beer, till his stomach ached.. Bruises on his cheek, a brawl in the bar maybe, is what the boy conceived.. The hand that had fallen swiftly, on his sight, had a metal bar, did he dare strike??? Full of terror, She was huddled in that corner, The single drop of blood on her split lip, shone brightly across her face, white in fear... what fate!!! The boy shouldn't have cared.... "My Jordan's back home, give him some cookies, Oh mother of his"; how quickly did she wipe her tears, that beautiful smile he loved the most, how much it hides, he now realised... She limbed across,  the iron was hot, He swore, if the man had laughed.